Holiday Redistribution

This year's Halloween had exceptionally pleasant weather, and with daylight savings not hitting till November, there was daylight for most of the trick or treating period. However, in times past this has not been so - it's dark and rainy and cold (kids have to wear coats over costumes and girls can't prance about it just lingerie.) So despite this year's pleasantness, I am reminded of one of my favorite rants: Sean's Great Plan For Holiday Redistribution*. In the event that I become Emperor Of These Great United States, I will restructure the calendar thusly:

• April 1st - New Year's Day: That's right, I'm moving the start of the New Year. Wouldn't you much rather think of the new year beginning in the spring than in the middle of winter? The pagans had it right; as the rains fall and the flowers bloom, so shall we begin anew.
• March/April - Easter: The good old moveable feast is hard to pin down. Under the Seanhenrian calendar, then, it gets to be either the first important holiday of the new year or the last important holiday of the previous year. Depending on how things fall, there may be years with two Easters and years with none. Won't that be fun? I think so.
• July 4 - Independence Day: This one's hard to move ("September 12 - 4th of July"?), and early July is a great time for a barbecue and fireworks, so it can stay.
• August 25 - Halloween: If there's any down side to moving Halloween to the summer, it's that pumpkins won't quite be in season. I think it's worth it for the sexy vampire costumes. We can still make jack-o-lanterns for Dia De Los Muertos.
• September 1 - Labor Day: Again, good time for barbecue, plus we need to know when to stop wearing white.
• Last Thursday In October - Thanksgiving: Bumping up Thanksgiving keeps it in the fall (where we all really expect to to be, every year) and out of the winter (where it always ends up being, much to everyone's dismay). Thanksgiving under my plan also gets significant breathing room from Christmas, thus making the idea of getting together with family much more palatable (you won't have to see them again for four months!)
• November 1 - El Dia De Los Muertos: In case you have left over Halloween decorations.
  
• December 25 - Valentines Day: The early portion of the winter is far more romantic than the end. By February, everyone is stir crazy and sick of slush and gray skies - who's up for love? But in December, snow is just starting to fall, fireplaces are getting lit, and everyone has new blankets. This is the time for Valentines.
• January 1 - April Fool's Day: And yes, we're still calling it April Fool's Day.
  
• February 28 - Christmas Day: Now, at the tail end of winter, when you can't stand it anymore, now is the time for Santa Claus and presents. Now is the time to haul out the holly and put up the tree before our spirits fall so far they need one of those junkyard car magnets to pull them up again. And now, spaced out from Thanksgiving, family will be a warm comfort in the cold times. BONUS: Every four years, February 29 gets to be part of DOUBLE CHRISTMAS. I don't know what kind of new traditions will spring from this, but I think it's worth giving it a shot.

So that's the plan. A realigned year. Clearly I know better than the generations of others who've come before me, so let's get on this. I hate to end the year on St Patrick's Day, so let's move it to, I don't know, September 12. That seems like a good day for drinking.