I have long complained about the people on the streets of Chicago in the bright yellow vests. The Traffic Management Authority seems to me a pretty obvious example of graft from City Hall as its employees are seemingly everywhere and don't appear to do anything except wave people through intersections faster than is probably safe. Still, I have viewed them mostly as an easily tolerated nuisance - until a guy TRIED TO KILL ME TODAY!
Lemme 'splain: I dropped the Ladies off at Navy Pier to meet friend Charlie and see the man of the hour himself, Santa. As I was pulling out, I came to a three-way intersection with a flashing red light. Where I come from, a flashing red light gets treated like a stop sign, and if multiple cars approach from different directions, the best policy is to alternate or 'take turns' going through the intersection. This is apparently not the view of the Traffic Management Authority agent working Navy Pier as he felt it was in everyone's best interest to wave me and the driver at the perpendicular into the middle of the road at the same time. Being a reasonable human being with respect toward imminent death, I held back, which seemed to both baffle and enrage the TMA guy, who waved his arms more vigorously and approached my car with a look in his eyes that seemed to me to say nothing but "Hurry! You're missing your chance to be involved in a fiery crash! GO! Go now or you won't be killed!"
And I must tell you, when someone instructs you with that much conviction, it takes a remarkably large amount of willpower to resist, even consciously knowing the stakes. But resist I did, and survive today to share the tale with you.
Beware the Yellow-Vested Harbingers of Doom! They act not in thy interest but that of a darker power! Also they probably get paid more than I do!
Happy Christmas & Drive Safely!
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